Except from "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers:
God's purpose is never the same as man's purpose. This bewildering call of God comes into our lives as well. The call of God can never be understood absolutely or explained externally; it is a call that can only be perceived and understood internally by our true inner-person who has the nature of the sea in him. What God calls us to cannot be definitely stated, because His call is simply to be His friend to accomplish His own purposes. Our real test is in truly believing that God knows what He desires. The things that happen do not happen by chance- they happen entirely by the decree of God. God is sovereignly working out His own purposes.
If we are in fellowship and oneness with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, then we will no longer strive to find out what His purposes are. As we grow in Christian life, it becomes simpler to us, because we are less inclined to say, "I wonder why God allowed this or that?" And we begin to see that the compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose. A Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and the wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God.
It seems that I have been on this spiritual journey the past couple of years. Maybe it's because I will be finishing up college soon. Maybe it's wisdom coming with age, but for the past couple of years since I first went to camp, I feel like I have been asking, "What am I meant to do, who am I meant to be?" Looking back over the past two years I have seen much change in my life. In 2009, I moved to North Carolina for 10 weeks during the summer, took a job that I could have never imagined would have turned out to be so rewarding in so many ways. Then finding myself back home, coming off that high from the summer. Then finding my home at Trinity Baptist Church. Knowing that next summer, Camp Ridgecrest was where I wanted to be that summer. And now, coming back to Madison, picking up where I left of at Trinity and continuing my work here.
Last April, I felt that God had called me into the ministry, to pursue a masters degree in Divinity and attend seminary. Now, I am not so sure. Camp has made an impact in my life. The idea of full time Camp ministry in the future has felt at times like a calling. With Camp Ministry, there is a lot of uncertainty, jobs are far and few. Sometimes you have to take a chance, stick with a camp and hope that something opens up. Because of that uncertainty, the decision about what my future will hold is unclear.
I think that is a big part of the calling though. When we are truly called by God, to whatever his plans are, it is not always something that is comfortable to us, or something that we think we are fully ready to do, but it is God's call to us and we know for sure that if we trust in him fully, he won't let us down. It's that trusting in him fully thing that is scary.
After coming back from camp in August, I realized how much of a greater impact this second summer had on me. For the week after returning, I was very tired. It hit me all at once that I had been going non-stop for 10 weeks. After that week or so of recovery, I was ready to be back at camp. There were things that were not the same, things that were greatly missed. There were times that I found myself not wanting to be in Madison and at Trinity but back at Camp.
After a month or so of going back and forth between wanting to be at camp and the work here in Madison, I realized that there is much work to be done here. God's purpose is here and now. Maybe next summer I would find myself back at camp. Maybe there are other plans, but for right now, God has some work for me to do and it's time to get busy.
For the Summer of 2011, I will be returning to Asheville, North Carolina for another summer of camp. I will be going into my third year as a counselor. Looking at what God has in store for the preparation leading up to camp is also exciting. This coming weekend I will be going on a retreat with the Sr. High youth of Trinity Baptist Church and FBC Huntsville. Then Sunday morning we will leave the retreat early to drive to Nashville for the National Youth Workers Conference. Sunday-Monday we will be attending workshops and getting to know other Youth leaders and Minsters from around the southeast. At the end of December, I will have another opportunity to preach at Trinity Baptist Church and then I will depart for a week long vacation in Asheville, NC where I will spend a few days at staff reunion, and then bring in the new year at camp.
For the spring of 2011, I will continue to work at Trinity and continue my school work at Strayer. I know that God will be opening up more opportunities and maybe even throwing a little detour here and there to help prepare me for the summer ahead. While I am trying to stay focused on His purpose, it's hard something to understand what he wants and what direction to go in. But the purpose sometimes is the journey itself.
I ask that you continue to pray as I prepare for the upcoming summer and tackle whatever comes my way over the next year.
