Living in Unfairness

Genesis 4: 1-8; 1 Peter 3: 8-22 

Rev. Patrick Streeter

It’s not fair! I don’t understand why he get’s to do that but I don’t. Why does he get something but not me. I just want fairness. My brother is four years younger than I am. Growing up we had our fair share of arguments like any siblings do.  I can remember times growing up where my brother was given something that I wasn’t or it seemed that one or both parents favored him over me in a situation. I remember trying to make that argument that it wasn’t fair. I would try the argument that he was the favorite son because he was the youngest and he always got what he wanted. 

As I look back, a few years older, maybe a little wiser, and hopefully a little more mature, I can begin to see that the unfairness that I experienced was perceived unfairness. My parents weren’t perfect, most aren’t, but mostly they were always right. They saw the situation differently or knew something that I didn’t know and that impacted how they made decisions about their sons. My perceived unfairness was just that. In my mind, with the information I had observed and collected, the situation was unfair. I wanted fairness but what I really wanted was what I felt like I deserved. 

  Cain was hurt; the Lord had shown favor over the younger brother, Abel’s offering and he felt the unfairness come upon him. Cain was the first born, the tiller of the ground. Abel, the second and the keeper of the sheep. At some point in their life, they bring an offering to the Lord.  Cain brings forth an offering of fruit from the ground while Abel brings forth the firstlings of his flock, the fat portions. It is written that the Lord looks with favor on Abel’s offering but does not offer the same with Cain’s. Immediately Cain becomes upset and it shows. The Lord tries to warn Cain of what is right and the consequences for falling into wrong. We know how this story ends; Cain kills his brother and then must endure the consequences for his actions from the Lord. 

As we study this passage, some critics and scholars attempt to justify why the Lord favors one offering over the other. Some would say the quality of the offerings led to the Lord’s decision to regard one over the other. However, the story does not explain why the Lord favored one offering over the other. Instead, the story focuses on Cain’s reaction to the unexplained divine preference from the Lord. The point here is not to justify the perceived unfairness.  Let us not miss this important point.  When we experience unfairness in our lives, we are prone to seek justification for the unfairness. If we can only understand why or rationalize the current situation, then maybe it will be easier to understand and accept. What God is saying to Cain in this story, and to us as we experience unfairness, is that we are not to justify or rationalize why the situation is unfair. It’s not about justifying the unfairness. It’s not about why. God’s questions demonstrate that God is more displeased with Cain’s response than with the actual offering. It’s not the style of offering but the substance of Cain’s heart that is called into question. 

So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen?” The word countenance means, appearance, especially the look or expression of the face. Other translations say that Cain became angry and furious and his face fell or his face became downcast.  Cain experiences unfairness and becomes upset.  When life happens, when things don’t go our way, when life seems so unfair, it bothers us. It can bother us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Cain’s emotional reaction is no different than the feelings we experience when we encounter unfairness. We become upset. Being upset, feeling emotions of anger, confusion, and sadness is how we are designed responds to situations of unfairness.  But again, being upset isn’t the point here. 

If it’s not about justifying the unfairness, not about whether it’s ok to be upset when we encounter unfairness, then what? If not that, then what? It’s about how we deal with and live in the reality that unfairness happens. Bad and unfair things will happen. How we move forward and  respond makes all the difference. 

The Lord said to Cain, “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Here is God’s guidance, Gods point in this situation and God’s response to us in the midst of unfairness. In the midst of unfairness, remain faithful and trust. It may not be fair, but I am good and I am just. Don’t fall into sin that can entrap you in your quest to rationalize fairness. God’s challenge to us is to remain faithful during times of unfairness. We must recognize that we may not fully understand the circumstances, but that we are still called to trust. 

There was a season in my life when I struggled with fairness, or more so with the unfairness that I was experiencing. It seemed that everything around me was falling apart. The goodness that I was holding onto was falling apart and I just didn’t understand why. I listen to music a lot and I was going through my music at that time and started listening to some older music. As I was listening to an older band, I found myself attracted to this one song in particular. It spoke to me during this season of my life as I dealt with the questions of living in unfairness. Hear these words from this song:

Late at night I wonder why, sometimes I wonder why. Sometimes I’m so tired, I don’t even try. Seems everything around me fails, but I hold onto the promise that there is a reason.  Late at night darkness makes it hard to see, the history of the saints who have gone in front of me. Through famine, plague and disbelief, His hand was still upon them ‘cause there is a reason. 

He makes all things good, There is a time to live, a time to die, a time for wonder and to wonder why.  For the lonely nights and broken hearts, the widow’s mite in the rich man’s hand and the continent whose blood becomes a traitor. For the child afraid to close their eyes, the prayers that seem unanswered, there is a reason. 

As we struggle to understand the unfairness of life, we must remember and hold onto one thing. God is good and God makes all things good. There is a reason for all things. We may not know or understand the reason, but we do know and we must put our hope in the goodness of God. We receive and embrace this goodness through the grace of 

Christ. During our doubts, questions and suffering for doing good, for trusting, we must embrace the gift of grace. 

Peter reminds us that we may suffer for doing what is good and for doing what is right. It is by doing this that we show grace and seek the promise of hope.  Peter writes this letter to the believers living in Asia Minor as encouragement as they are enduring suffering and unfairness. Peter reminds them to remain faithful through unfairness. “Have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart and a humble mind;” this is how we are to show grace. This is how we allow others to experience grace. In the midst of unfairness, it can be easy to retaliate, to say things that we shouldn’t; easy to respond out of hurt feelings and upset hearts. Peter says this, “ For it is better to suffer for doing good, if suffering should be God’s will, than to suffer for doing evil. For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, in order to bring you to God.”  

When we begin to think about the unfairness in our lives, our suffering or the suffering of others comes into the conversation. Maybe we are in an unfair situation where we are asking how is this right, how is this fair. Maybe we are in midst of suffering seeking answers, seeking resolution. Christ suffered for us and we too will suffer. But we are called to endure that suffering. Peter also reminds us that when we suffer we are to sanctify Christ within our hearts. 

The word sanctify means to make holy, to set apart as sacred or to purify. In the midst of the questions and feelings that overwhelm us in the midst of suffering and unfairness, our hearts will hurt. Our heart will hurt because we are broken people. We must remember that we are called to sanctify our hearts with the grace of Christ. The grace of Christ is powerful enough to mend our broken and hurting hearts. 

What is our response to perceived unfairness? In the story of Cain and Abel, Cain’s response was to kill his bother. An extreme measure but that was his response to unfairness. But what about ours; How must we respond? 

Do you remember the parable of the workers in the vineyard in the Gospel of Matthew? A landowner went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. He found some workers, agreed upon a set wage and sent them to work. Later that morning, he found some more men looking for work and hired them as well. Three more times that day he found more workers and hired them as well. When the evening came the landowner paid each of the men, beginning with last and then to the first. The workers who had worked hard all day became upset because those who had worked the least received, in their opinion, an unfair amount. 

The unfairness in life can creep into our hearts when we begin to question what we have been given or maybe not given. Maybe we work hard, struggle to make ends meet, get paid very little and we look at others who seem to work less, make more, and live a more comfortable life. Maybe our life is one hardship after another. It’s a struggle to pay the bills, we are worried about job security, we lose our job, our health or the health of those we love consumes our every moment. When the realities of life crash around us, we are left with the choice of how we will respond. Maybe our response is to live in the unfairness that is. If we must respond, then our response is through grace. 

To live in unfairness, we must live in grace. We must live with the understanding that we are unworthy, but God is worthy. We must live with the understanding that the sinless death of Christ on the cross was unfair, but necessary. We must live with the understanding that through unfairness, there is grace. The unfairness of life can wound and scar us. Where in your life have you been wounded by the hurt and pain of unfairness? Where are you still hurting? Where have you hurt others in the attempt to rationalize unfairness? Where do you need to receive grace in your life? Where are you called to extend grace to another? Live in the grace that only God can provide. During those moments when life seems unfair; when you suffer and looking for an explanation; rest in the grace through Christ. May the grace of Christ sanctify your heart. May that be enough. Amen.